We needed some dirt to fill a hole in the backyard and we want to make some raised bed planters etc. If you have looked at craigslist at all you will see a bunch of posts for free dirt. So I called I asked if it would be good for what we needed they said yes and so the “dirt” was delivered while I was working at Mikey’s school. What I saw when I got home was far from any dirt you would see in a garden. At least not any garden where things grow. This looked more like cement. I called and asked for it to be removed. Guess what our free dirt cost $400 to remove! Yep, our free dirt turned out to be very expensive. So $400 later we still have some planters that need dirt in them and a drive way that looks horrible. At least the “dirt” is gone. It is a lesson to us though nothing is free not even dirt.
If you do not know Amanda’s Blog Dirt and Boogers check it out. She always has fantastic things to do with your kiddos and she is a fan of super messy projects like me. In fact that is what she featured our messy paint escapades and our messy chemistry experiment!
Thanks Amanda I love your blog and am honored to have been featured on it!
I owe you all an explanation as to where I have been the past several Months. I know that even when I was “Here” in January and February I was not really here. It was my attempt at trying to stay with this blog when it just wasn’t in me. This post is going to be as much my Therapy as it is my explanation to you. So I am sorry if I kind of go off on tangents and rant and rave. But I kind of need this.
So here it is:
The Good(Extremely Wonderfully Good),
The Bad(The Inexcusably Bad),
And the Ugly(People are Not always Kind).
The Good(Extremely Wonderfully Good). I am PREGNANT! I know that is pretty much always good news for everyone. But for us it’s extra Good, really, really, really extra Good. Mike and I were told that we basically can never get pregnant on our own. We have a one in a BILLLION chance of getting pregnant (not even one in a Million). I don’t ovulate regularly we never know when I will and I skip months, and months at a time. Plus Mike has an extremely low sperm count which makes our chances one in a billion (according to our Doctor). To have Kaia and Mikey we went through multiple rounds of IVF (In vitro Fertilization with assisted hatching). During that time you get to know your Fertility Doctor very well, and we loved our Doctor. We went to her for a total of seven years. If you have been through IVF you know you are at the Doctors office often as in every three days sometimes more. While it is not always for Doctors visits (it’s mostly for blood draws) I always got to see my Doctor at least in the hallways and we would say “Hi” or chat for a bit. Even when I was not pregnant we would always keep in touch and we always attended the annual Picnic to go see our Doctor chat and see the other people who had been going through fertility treatments the same time as us.
The Bad(The Inexcusably Bad). In December Mike and I decided we wanted to have another Baby. I called our Fertility Doctor and made an appointment for right after the New Year. I went in for the initial consult you always have to do to begin IVF. I had a Hysteroscopy and Internal Ultrasound planned. Hysteroscopy’s are painful. I mean it really painful, at least for me. This was my 5th so instead of watching the screen (I have seen my uterus on TV before) I closed my eyes and waited for the procedure to be over. Next was the Ultrasound, internal ultrasounds are not painful…just uncomfortable. So I watched the screen as my Doctor continually told me how everything looked fantastic, wonderful, and perfect. As she was doing the Ultrasound she kept going back to this spot that looked kind of like an oval on the screen as she did though she kept assuring me everything looks amazing, we were good to go for another round of IVF. In fact THIS TIME, instead of going through months of BCP to try and regulate my period we were going to start my IVF cycle at the end of the month. Since I had been through IVF so many times she felt that this time I would be ready right away. Which was fine with me, we wanted another Baby. She prescribed Birth Control Pills and some other Medications and told me to start taking them that night. So I did. I was not feeling well after the procedure so I had Mike go get everything and I started taking my medications immediately. She also told Mike he had to go in for a specimen sample immediately since we were moving along at a faster pace this time and we had to order all the other Fertility medications right away as well $6,000 worth of non- refundable medication.
And the Ugly(People are Not always Kind, I am putting that Nicely). So if you have not guessed it that little oval she saw and kept going back to on the Ultrasound was our BABY! I did not know …I should have and I will never forgive myself for not knowing right then and there. So I kept taking the medication my Doctor prescribed and eventually it was time for me to go in and have another Ultrasound so they could see how my eggs were progressing. My Doctor was in with another Patient whose appointment was running late. So one of the nurses came in to do my ultrasound and there unmistakably was a BABY. There was no missing it this time everything was there and my baby was moving. I nearly screamed and so did the Nurse. I NEVER EVER EVER thought we could get Pregnant on our own. Not after everything we had been through. We had been trying to have a baby since 2001 so 11 years later this was quite the surprise. My Doctor came in and said “Oh, you must have gotten Pregnant the day of the Hysteroscopy”. I was so elated to find out I was pregnant I barely heard her. Until she said “Don’t tell anyone about this Pregnancy because we don’t know how it will turn out” and then she said “Just leave the money in our account just in case you need to come back for IVF in a month or so” (You have to pay for IVF before the procedure). I left the Doctor’s office both ecstatic and worried. On the way home I started going over everything that had happened and that’s when I realized what that oval shape was at my initial visit. It was our Baby. I went home and told my Husband the good news I didn’t tell him what she had said about the pregnancy not working out I also didn’t tell him what I now knew about the initial visit. WHY? I was embarrassed and ashamed. How did I not know? I should have known just by seeing it. I should have asked what is that spot, her assurances of everything being perfect made me not ask. I trusted her I have known her for Years now. So that evening I put a stop on the money sent to her office. I also made an appointment for my regular OBGYN. I did not even tell them what had happened exactly, I told them what medications I had been taking and I told them I was pregnant so I went in for my first visit. My progesterone levels were very low. So I had to start a daily medication for that and go in for blood tests every week. The baby looked great though. In fact I got our Due Date. Now remember my Fertility Doctor had said “You must have gotten pregnant the day of the Hysteroscopy”. That was impossible for two reasons 1) I felt miserable and in pain after the hysteroscopy sex was the last thing on my mind 2) My Due Date. I was definitely pregnant on the day of my initial exam with the fertility Doctor. So she tried to get rid of my pregnancy just to have me go through IVF to grow another baby.
How has that affected me? Well I kind of shut down as you all know. I literally have well over 1,000 unopened emails ( I promise I will get to them). I could not handle everything that was going on so the computer was the easiest thing for me to give up. I felt like the worst Mother ever. It’s hard to protect your children completely once they are out of the womb but I had failed so completely when it is supposed to be easiest. I should have known I was pregnant. I had morning sickness but I just thought I had a stomach bug or ate something bad. I dismissed it. I felt like I was not appreciating my children enough. I was obviously not aware of my own self so how could I be aware of everything they needed as well. So I went back to my roots so to speak. I was a preschool teacher for 10 years. And I realized I was doing nothing with my children with all my early childhood knowledge with everything I had learned all the cool activities and projects. So that’s what I started doing. I started doing everything I could to prove to them and to myself that I was a good Mother. I even started a new blog just dedicated to what I was doing with them to prove to everyone else out there as well. Plus it really and honestly does make me happy and it makes my kiddos happy too, so I am going to continue doing fun activities with them and posting about it. Don’t worry I will get back into giveaways as well; just give me a little time.
I am still not over the shock of what has happened. My friend asked me if we were going to sue my Doctor. And the answer is. Probably Not. Mike and I talked about it and she helped us to have Kaia and Mikey. They our world (and the new baby too of course), without her we would not have them. Does that excuse what she did? Absolutely not. But we are still thankful for them.
On the bright Side Kaia named the Baby. We were in the car and she said “Mommy, Daddy, I have the perfect name for the Baby, WINKLES!” And Mike and I agreed that is indeed the perfect name for the Baby. Don’t worry we are not really going to name the Baby Winkles. It will however forever be this Child’s Nickname.
Dinosaur Dig! has everything that boys love — diggers, dinosaurs, and dirt — plus a bit of counting thrown in for good measure. Bursting with energy, noise, and a splashy, surprising ending, this is an absolute riot of a book. Mikey adores Dinosaur Dig! With its fun story line and educational front and back pages. The Front pages (before the story even starts) have a list with pictures of all the Dinosaurs and their names for children and you to learn. And in the back there are pictures with the names of all the heavy machinery you see in the book. There is also great vocabulary in this book besides the dino and machine names. This book is great for all kids 1 and up.
About the Author
Penny Dale is the author of Dinosaur Dig!. She is an internationally-known, best-selling children’s book artist and author and has sold more than 4 million books, with editions in over 20 languages. Her much-loved picture book Ten in the Bed sold over 1 million copies worldwide. Her other titles have also met with great success : Bet You Can’t and Once There Were Giants were included in the UK SATS booklist for many years. Wake Up My B! was commended for the Kate Greenaway Medal 1988. Rosie’s Babies (written by Martin Waddell) won the Best Book for Babies award and was also shortlisted for the Kate Greenaway Medal in 1990. Night Night, Cuddly Bear and Ten in the Bed both won the Oppenheim Toy Portfolio Award in 2001 and 2002 respectively. Jamie and Angus (written by Anne Fine) won the Boston Globe Horn Book Award 2003. Her most recent work includes The Boy on the Bus and Jamie and Angus Together, both 2007, as well as Princess, Fairy and Jamie and Angus Forever in 2009. Penny is married, has one grown up daughter and lives in South Wales. –This text refers to an alternate Hardcover edition.
Buy It: You can purchase the Dinosaur Dig! book both online and in stores.
This was not a paid post my honest opinions were used. The opinions are solely my own and may vary from others. Thank you to The Hosting Company who supplied the products for the review